It’s really a challenge to figure out what they expect from you once they are frail or bed ridden. They complain about your lack of understanding and moral support. You feel guilty half the time for leaving them behind at home to attend an emergency conference or a late night party. You’re frustrated with their high expectations and you cannot do anything about it. The rest of the siblings don’t even make half the effort to visit your parent’s and they blame you for the mistakes. You’re not the only one who is in this situations. In fact, many studies shows that parents are unhappy with the way their children treat them when they are old. If you’re someone finding a way to get through to your parents, here’s a few things that your aging parents expect from you.
Have a conversation in the kitchen while you make dinner or sit with them in the couch and talk about the good old days when you were a kid. It’s evident that you’re working and busy with your kids and your spouse. You feel like you’re sandwiched between bringing up your kids and teaching your parents to hold the bowl the right way. But with a little effort you can make time for the parents that taught you the first word. Keep your phone away, your Instagram followers can live without a post of yours everyday but your mother would love to hear all about your day in the office.
Don’t hear but listen
How many of us spaced out in a conversation with our parents? I’m sure all of us would have raised our hands if we were in a classroom and we were asked that question. Just as much you pay attention to every detail your boss tells you or your friend talks about, you have to give equal importance to everything they say. Everything they say to you is important to them even if it’s about a friend they met at a dementia care event.
Your parents helped you through college and other fee and now it’s your turn to help them out. Don’t shy away to spend money on equipment and proper aged care homes. Money is not the important thing but their happiness is important. If you find yourself too short on money, find out for financial aid programs for your parents to help them recover.
Money is not the golden thing they expect from you but few words of appreciation and encouragement can help them smile a little. Let loose and laugh along with them. You don’t have to put up a serious face with your frail father. Indulge them with conversations over a coffee and a cookie. Keep things normal and just the way they were before they were bed ridden and sick.
Support their decisions and words. Some parents prefer to live alone and some would want to stick with their children. Whatever decision they make remember to support it. Don’t force your parents to be house arrested inside your house and if they want to be with their grandkids, make them a room at your house. These are the few things that they expect from their children. Once you’re done reading this, shut down the PC and go have a friendly chat with them. This will make their day happier and bright than ever.